My daughter has several combined issues with her ADHD. She
is ODD, doesn’t empathize well, and has some sensory issues. Her struggles seem
to progress as she ages. She doesn’t wear a sign on her back indicating as
much, and we don’t generally mention it. Not because we’re trying to hide it,
but because there are so many other interesting things about her that come to
mind first: She obsessively loves “My Little Pony” and dancing and singing. She’s
witty and has no filter. She’s says the things that no one else will. She’s
direct and brutally honest. She reads books that her 10 year old (almost)
sister doesn’t even read. And, we love her sassy personality.
That said, I am completely tired of hearing the same
ignorant responses and questions from people, some complete strangers and some
family members. She is too and I pity the person that has the gall to say one
of the following in front of her because she will let you know exactly what is
wrong with what you said.
·
“All she needs is a good spanking.” Seriously?!
I could physically hurt the next person that makes that suggestion.
·
“Sometimes I’m a little ADD.” As if Kyla’s
condition boils down to a problem with listening, like she’s purposely disobedient,
instead of having an actual mental condition.
·
“Let me take her for a week and I’ll sort her
out.”
·
“She’ll grow out of it. A lot of kids just have
extra energy.” This is where most people are so completely misinformed. ADHD
does not equal constant movement necessarily. Does she fidget? Absolutely! However,
her brain requires constant stimulation so you cannot expect her to sit and be
quiet without offering some form of stimulation. This is why video games often are
associated with ADHD. The games did not create the problem in most cases; the
games provide a constant, ever-changing source of stimulation that a child with
ADHD benefit from. I’m not saying I plop my child in front of a system, but she
has several tools at her disposal and anything she does is educational.
·
“Have you tried ?” Like I’m a completely incompetent parent. I
have three other children, two of which are older than she is. Before we began
her several therapies/appointments, we tried alternate diets and extra
activity. I would not medicate or pull her out of school unless it was
necessary for her happiness and health.
·
“But she’s so smart!” As if she is expected to
be otherwise.
·
“ADHD was just created by drug companies” Right,
I take her to all her appointments and give her medication just for the fun of
it.
·
“Don’t give her (insert name of medicine)!! I
don’t want her taking it, I heard it’s bad.” Seriously, like I didn’t
thoroughly research any medication before giving it to her. Like I did not
report the slightest thing to her doctor and try 3 medications before we found
one that worked best for her. All drugs have bad side effects. But those side
effects don’t affect everyone and in most cases the good outweighs the bad. Also,
most of the negative you hear is due to other’s without a prescription abusing
the medication. Make your opinions after you do research.
·
“Oh, she’s just strong-willed” or “typical
little girl.” I invite you to join us at our home on a medication free day
(weekends).
·
“Everyone has issues like that sometimes.”
·
“I’m sorry” And for what, exactly?! She’s not
broken or somehow incomplete. She’s perfect. In fact, in many ways her thought
process and responses are wittier than most adults I know.
·
“I don’t know how you do it.” Would you not
love, support, and seek every option and opportunity available for your child?
I’m sure I’ve missed some but these are the most prominent.
ADHD may be over diagnosed but that does not mean that every child with that
diagnosis doesn’t have it. And it does not mean that child is somehow less than
perfect. I won’t question your child or your parenting choices when your child
shoves his finger up his nose and into his mouth. Or throws a complete, on the
floor crying, tantrum in the store when you don’t purchase the toy she wants.
So don’t look at my child like she’s out of control or when she has a meltdown
due to the suddenly itchy fabric of her shirt or when she loudly tells you to pull
your pants up because no one wants to see your booty. (true story)
